Not Okay
by albfic
Summary: Blaine returns form New York after telling Kurt about his mistake and things go downhill from there.
1. Chapter 1

NOT OKAY

Chapter 1

Blaine was devastated when he arrived back from New York after telling Kurt of his infidelity. He trembled as he walked into his house tear tracks staining his cheeks. The house was dark and cold- not surprising considering his parents were once again off traveling the world. He slowly climbed the stairs to his bed room- stripping solemnly when he crossed the threshold and grabbing his old Dalton sweats before lying down on his bed burying his head in his pillow.

The night seemed to drag on as he tossed and turned- sleep eluding him. All too soon it was 5am and time to dress for school and make the nearly two hour drive to McKinley. Blaine had no idea what the day would bring. He was certain people would know about what he had done to Kurt and he feared their reactions.

Refusing to delay the inevitable any longer he dressed for school. Not really caring about style he grabbed a pair of black skinny jeans and a purple sweater. Soon enough he was in his car the radio off so he wouldn't be got off guard by song that reminded him of Kurt. Not that the silence helped considering everything reminded him of Kurt.

When he pulled into the school's parking lot he simply sat for a while. His chest was so tight with anxiety he felt he could barely breathe. After around ten minutes of simply trying to breathe he finally worked up enough courage to make it into the school.

Luck was not with him and his entrance into the school was met with an ice cold slushy. The feeling of the cold hitting him was the last straw for the broken boy and his overstressed body simply started to shut down. It started with a small tremble that soon became nearly seizure like. His backpack fell to the ground and soon he was on his knees desperately gulping for air as his shocked system caused him to hyperventilate.

A pair of hands reached out to him and he cried out in desperation shrinking away his mind to riddled with fear to process that the hands might be there to help.

It was too much and in mercy his mind finally shut down and darkness became his existence.

When Blaine next awoke he found himself swallowed up by a haze of fluorescent lights and the sound of a steady beep. _Hospital_ his still rattled brain informed him.

As awareness returned he began to look around the room surprised to notice he wasn't alone. A mop of bleach blond hair occupied a chair by his bed and was lazily flipping through a magazine.

Blaine shifted slightly in the bed and the movement caught the blonde's attention.

"Hey man- welcome back."

"What happened?" Blaine croaked out his voice hoarse from lack of use.

"Doc says it was a panic attack." Sam stated bluntly.

"Oh..." Blaine whispered his pale cheeks flaring red in embarrassment.

"Don't stress it. Finn caught me up to speed- seems like you have a lot going on."

"I understand if you don't want to be here. I know Kurt was your friend first- you don't have to feel obligated just cause your VP"

"Please bro. VP or no I'm your friend. I don't understand what happened but I'm not gonna abandon you specially not in a hospital. People mess up- that's life, can't change it can only learn from mistakes and move on."

Hearing the reassuring words Blaine found his cheeks once more being covered in tears.

"Ah man don't cry." Sam said worried he had upset Blain again.

"I don't deserve your kindness." Blaine managed to get out between heart breaking sobs.

"None of that talk man- of course you do." Sam said moving closer to Blain and laying a hand on his shoulder in hopes of cheering him up.

"What's going on here?" A sudden voice interrupted as a nurse walked in.

"If you are upsetting Mr. Anderson here I will have you removed."

"No please." Blaine whispered out grabbing Sam's hand as if to anchor him.

"Alright then hun try and relax then take some deep breaths I really don't want to have to medicate you again." The nurse responded a look of compassion and confusion marring her face as she was unsure of the cause of his distress.

"He's worried no one cares for him." Sam explained sensing her confusion.

"Well son that simply can't be the case- this young man has been here for quite some time as have a whole herd of other teens." The nurse assured.

Blaine's eyes portrayed clearly his disbelief at that thought.

"It's true" Sam stated "Mr. Shuester, Mrs. Pillsbury, Brittany, Tina and even Finn have all stopped by. It's Tuesday. You sort of slept through Monday after everything apparently the sedative they gave you combined with what the doctor said was a case of low blood sugar and exhaustion knocked you for a loop."

"Oh…" Blaine whispered once more.

"He's right." The nurse stated. "In fact your blood sugar is one of the reason's I came in here. Now that you're awake we want to try and get some real food in you. Looks like you've lost weight recently and you can't really afford to lose any more. So what are you interested in trying and before you say it nothing is not an option."

"Umm something light then. Maybe some soup." Blaine replied not wanting to anger the compassionate nurse by refusing food.

"Soup we can do. Let me get some vitals on you then we'll see about that soup."

Blaine allowed the nurse to go about taking his temperature and blood pressure- noticing a slight shake in her head. Apparently so did Sam since he spoke up.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh… probably nothing his blood pressure is a little elevated but that is probably the stress still. His temp too is a bit higher then we'd prefer so we may watch that but it too could just be a combination of exhaustion and stress."

The boys nodded their understanding and then watched as the nurse retreated to get Blaine some food.

"So man you want to do something- we could talk or watch TV or I don't know sing?"

Blaine chuckled a little at the last suggestion. "Maybe just TV for now?" Blaine offered not really ready to talk.

"Cool bro."

And with that the two friends settled in to see what boring soap operas they could find as they waited for food and answers.


	2. Chapter 2

Not Okay

Chapter 2

It had not taken long for Blaine to fall back asleep once the TV had been turned on and Sam had stopped talking to him. His body was still worn out after the nervous wreck he had worked himself into in the weeks in between his meeting with Eli and when he convinced himself to confess to Kurt. When the nurse arrived back thirty minutes later with the soup- she almost didn't want to wake the sleeping teen but she knew he needed the nourishment the food would provide.

"Why don't you wake him- he might be more comfortable with a familiar face about now?" The nurse quietly told Sam recalling the easily agitated state of the sleeping boy before her.

"Sure." Sam approached Blain quietly and stepped a little to the side hand reaching out to his shoulder to shake him awake but also stay out of range of flying hands. He'd seen Blaine box before and had no desire to be on the receiving end of one of those blows.

"Blaine, hey bro, time to rejoin the land of the living- soups on… literally." Sam gently teased as he shook the frail boy.

Despite Sam's attempts to be as non-threatening as possible Blaine still awoke sharply. Fear coated his being and he scrambled back in the bed frantically as if looking for an escape.

"Easy Hun you're safe in the hospital." The nurse now coached trying to calm the frightened boy.

Both Sam and the Nurse continued uttering reassurances until the light of understanding returned to Blaine's eyes and he started to uncurl from the safety huddle he had created.

"Sorry." He whispered once he had calmed enough to speak- his eyes downcast indicating his shame for his reaction.

"Nonsense." The nurse replied in what seemed to be her typical no nonsense manner. "Everyone gets scared sometimes and it seems to me people in hospitals have a built in excuse."

Sam chuckled his agreement and Blaine offered a half smile at her reassurance.

"So I brought you your soup. It's chicken noodle- so nothing to heavy. I expect it to be gone when I return." She remarked quickly setting it on his bed tray and rolling it over to him. She then looked at his bedside monitor and tinkered with the I.V. he had in his left arm before striding back at the room.

After she left Blaine simply stared at the food as if it was something foreign- truthfully it almost was at this point. In the past two weeks food had been the least of his concerns and had often gone uneaten.

"Hey man you heard her eat up." Sam interjected.

Blaine's head shot up in surprise at the comment having almost forgotten he presence of his friend. Nodding in response to the urging he slowly lifted up the spoon and began to eat some of the soup.

It felt like lead going down and he struggled with each bite. About halfway through he couldn't take it anymore and dropped the spoon back to the tray.

"She said to finish it bro."

"I can't." Blaine whispered out desperation filling his eyes and begging Sam not to force him.

"Ok man, if you can't you can't." Sam sensing the truth of his friend's words.

Blaine pushed the tray away the smell of the uneaten food adding to the queasiness his already painfully full abdomen was experiencing.

He pulled his knees to his chest and hugged them trying to relieve some of the discomfort and then rested his head on his knees trying to take slow deep breaths.

Sam watched all of this concerned by how simply eating a meal seemed to shake his friend up so much. He wondered how they had missed just how much Blaine was suffering these past weeks. Were the really all so caught up in their worlds that they couldn't see a friend unraveling before them. In their defense Blaine was excellent at wearing masks, but now that they had come tumbling down Sam couldn't help but wonder why they hadn't seen through them. Silently he vowed to look deeper- not just at Blaine but at everyone around him. No one should have to suffer alone.

I Quiet groan brought Sam out of his thoughts and he looked once more over to Blaine noticing a green hue that had overtaken his pale features. Sam recognized that hue immediately often seeing it on younger siblings who had overindulged in hidden cookies. He searched desperately for a trash can or some form of receptacle knowing what was about to happen. Thankfully he spotted an awful looking pink bowl that was clearly created for moments just like this. In the nick of time he managed to get it under Blaine's chin before the sick boy lost his lunch.

As it happened the nurse returned to this pitiful scene.

"Oh kid. This was not how this was supposed to go." She said gently moving to the small bathroom off his room to grab a washcloth. Wetting it she soon returned and laid it on the back of the teen's neck as he finished heaving up the little substance he had managed to consume.

"Sorry" the sick boy gasped out tears rolling down his cheeks once more. He felt so pathetic he couldn't even do something as simple as eating right.

"No apologizes. Your sick- it happens. I probably should have asked the doctor for some meds for you first seeing as you have been so overwhelmed with things it's really no surprise your body reacted this way. Next time we'll get you some Compazine to settle your stomach before trying to get you to eat." The nurse assured him.

"Just lay back and rest now and I'll dispose of the evidence."

Blaine did as she asked and leaned back into his pillow once more taking shuttering breaths as he tried to calm down. After a few minutes he blinked his eyes open and looked to Sam.

"Thanks for your help."

"No problem bro- I have two kid siblings- I have been on this merry ground more than once."

Blaine smiled "thanks all the same."

"So you tired or you want to do something- I have a deck of cards."

"Umm cards would be okay but maybe nothing to complicated."

"Go fish it is." Sam smiled with a grin.

"I could maybe handle something a bit more complex."

"No way is man- Go Fish my game- I'm practically a world champ."

"Ok then bring it on." Blaine smiled back and soon the two friends were attempting to relax amidst a childhood pastime.


	3. Chapter 3

Not Okay

Chapter 3

Despite the simplicity of the game Sam and Blaine had chosen to play, Blaine still found himself exhausted after merely two hands of Go Fish.

Sam had noticed the other boy fighting more and more with each minute to simply keep his eyes open.

"Hey Blaine. Why don't we call it quits?"

"Oh no I'm fine just let me reposition a bit."

"You're not fine man. You need to stop saying that when it's not true. It's okay to admit weakness. You're in a hospital. Take it easy and get some rest." Sam chastised gently in response.

"Sorry…" Blaine whispered.

"No man that's not what I meant. You don't have to apologize I just want you to feel better and pushing yourself now isn't going to get you there."

Blaine nodded slowly and leaned back a bit more in his pillows.

"I am pretty tired."

"Thought so. Why don't you rest I bet your parents will be by soon it's after 5pm. Surely they are done with work."

"Don't count on it." Blaine mumbled almost too soft to be heard.

"What man I didn't catch that?"

"I said I wouldn't count on them coming. My mom doesn't work and dad only works. If they aren't here it has nothing to do with work and everything to do with the fact that their version of parental concern is making sure the bills get paid."

"Oh…that sucks."

Blaine merely shrugged. Sam was right it did suck but it was also his life. It had been that way for as long as he could remember. His mom had always been absent. His dad hadn't been so bad when he was younger until he came out then he just sort of stopped trying. It had hurt a lot at first, but now days it was just par for the course. Blaine's friends had always meant more to him then family. That was part of the reason the loss of Kurt hurt so much right now.

The depressing line of thought wasn't helping Blaine out much in fact it was causing the headache he had been harboring for a while to spike painfully.

Sam noticed his sudden cringe and responded in concern.

"You okay bro?"

"Headache…" Blaine mumbled between clenched teeth his fists furiously rubbing at his temples in an attempt to alleviate some of the pain.

"Let me call your nurse maybe you can get some meds."

"Don't bother I'm sure she has better things to do."

"No way man- what did we just talk about. It's okay to admit you need help." Sam rebuked with a frustrated sigh wondering if his friend would ever catch on. As he made the comment he simultaneously hit the call button for the nurse.

"May I help you?" A voice soon responded.

"Yeah my friend is in pain can he get anything?"

"His nurse will be right in."

"Thanks."

Sure enough the nurse was in a moment later.

"Hello again boys what's happening."

"Blaine's got a headache." Sam interjected before Blaine could down play his symptoms.

"Hmmm I'm not surprised considering you haven't been able to eat much and your blood pressure. Let me get another set of vitals then we'll see what we can do."

She went about doing so quickly.

"Geez kid not exactly what I was hoping for. Your temps up another degree and blood pressure is still elevated. I'm going to make a call to your doctor and see what he wants to do – hang tight for a minute."

With that she walked out to follow up on her statement leaving the boys to quietly watch the clock and await news.

Around ten minutes later the nurse walked back in with a young doctor.

"Hello my name is Doctor Adams- Nurse Johnson here caught me up on things. Let me take a listen to your chest and grab a quick blood sugar check and we'll go from there."

Blaine allowed the doctors ministrations flinching slightly both at the cold of the stethoscope and the prick of his finger for the glucose check.

"Well I see you have a history of asthma here. Your lungs sound okay for the moment though so that's good. Your blood sugar is definitely low only 50. I'm going to have the nurse add a glucose drip to your I.V. for the moment. Also going to give you some Ibuprofen for the fever. I'll have the lab draw some blood work to rule out infection and we'll wait for results to decide what to do next. Meanwhile sleep and food are the best medicine. I heard food was a bit tough earlier so we'll wait a bit before trying again- but sleep I recommend and I can even prescribe something to help if you feel you need it."

"No I think I'm good."

"Alright. I'll check back in a bit."

"Thanks."

True to his word Blaine was asleep about ten minutes after the lab work people left his room and Sam was once more keeping a silent vigil.


End file.
